StartFragment"You can be ungrateful for the fact that life knocked you down, or you can choose to be grateful for the fact that life knocked you down. Either way you GET to get back up."
This summer while working a basketball session with PGC I was reminded of a very important word that has impacted my life tremendously. GRATITUDE. Someone once said that fear, anger and entitlement are irrelevant when a person is truly grateful. Throughout my life I have felt extremely grateful in times when everything is going according to plan, but in times of struggle I have ceased to find that same sense of gratitude.
There are so many things in my life I have learned to be grateful for, but there was also a time in my life where I struggled to find that gratitude and purpose for living. Instead of focusing on the reasons I should be thankful for being alive, I focused on everything that was going wrong, everything that was pulling me down. In that time of extreme struggle I found myself contemplating a purposeful life. I found myself overlooking everything beautiful, I chose to view life in a negative way. To the point where living felt painful. To the point where living almost felt like the lesser of two options.
Had I learned to be more grateful and understanding during my freshman year of college, these thoughts would have never crossed my mind, and if they had even for a split second I would have let them come and let them go. But instead I chose to let the struggle, let these negative thoughts, feelings and circumstances determine major decisions of my life and almost one of the biggest decisions of my life.
I let the pressures and expectations of being a student-athlete affect me, I let being away from home allow me to be home sick, I let my "failures" define me. I let my performance on the basketball court define the person I was. I was struggling with confidence and finding who I was and I kept it bottled up putting a smile on everyday. But in all honesty I hated showing up to practice for a time and I didn’t find joy in things like school and basketball like I had used to.
There was even a time coming close to the end of my freshman year where transferring to a school back home was a major priority for me because this first year of college really just challenged me in a way I don’t think I was grateful for until now. Now I look back at my struggles and challenges during my freshman year of college and I wish I had been more mature and more grateful for them as they did allow me to grow and help find myself, but it took longer and went more downhill then it should have.
I failed to be grateful for the fact that my school was being paid for, that I was continuing to play basketball and get to do what I love, that I was growing as an adult being away from home learning to be independent (even doing my own laundry for the first time in my life). I grew so much my freshman year of college but at the time I didn’t see it, didn’t feel it. Now I look back and know I am so grateful for that entire year- for every single opportunity, for every single struggle and setback, for everything in that time I felt was pulling me down was just preparing me and growing me.
So lesson learned, be grateful for every single moment in your life. Even when it isn't the easiest, even when shit doesn't go the way you want it, know life is preparing you. Things don't happen for no particular reason. Everything that happens to you is a learning and growing experience. Learn to be grateful and have gratitude for every single moment, the good and the bad.
Every single day I am grateful for every opportunity, every struggle, every failure and every success. I have the same amount of gratitude for each of these. I am also just so grateful for my family, Lexi and this game called basketball that has been the gateway to so many beautiful people and places in my life.
Bonus gratitude point:
Don't live with "have to", live with "get to". I get to go to work today, I get to go to school today, I get to get shit done today. So much more gratitude in the fact that you GET TO do something rather than you HAVE TO.
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